Daily Log; April 20,2009 Monday

I got up this morning. Spent the other goddamn half of my time on the computer and then finally got my lazy monkey ass to do something useful at around 3 in the afternoon. I went to hand in my time card and then afterwards I went to Modells to ask them about how to work the stopwatch that I bought from them yesterday. I found out that the stop watch I bought from them did not include the function that I wanted which was to beep at the allotted time that I wanted it too. I want to be able to set it to 2 minutes and then when it hits two minutes it will be, but apparently I guess that's too fucking hard or technologically advanced for a stop watch developed in 2009. Oh yeah I need to remind myself to check out that job expo flyer that's happening on Saturday on the ground level of my building and call the pay roll lady about when I will get paid for my work. I've handed in 3 time cards already and I only got paid for one...

Afterwards I went to school so that I can fill out and hand in my financial aid corrections. When I went the lady told me with a lot of attitude that the financial aid department was closed and there were already signs posted outside that the financial aid office is closed today. Afterwards I met up with one of my Friends Henry and then got some food together in the cafeteria. We met up with Simone and Aaron later on. Now I know for sure that Simone only thinks of me as. Friend but fuck it I should still go for her. That should be the attitude I keep with me "fuck it." do it because I want to do it and not let external forces keep me from doing the things that I want to do.

After that I went to the gym and did a few workouts. I need to find a way that I can do strength training using the HIT program (high intensity training) without slowing down or giving up too easily. This is the best way to gain mass and strength. I really need to practice my round house kicks. I can't recover back to my fighting stance quickly. I always lose my balance. When I got home I watched a movie and then in the end I fell victim to my temptations and masturbated =x

Things that should be done about computer;

-only spend max two hour on the computer every day

- And only for things like blogging and downloading music, etc...

- From now on I can only masturbate when I have done at least one direct approach.

-do not go on the computer too much

-do not go on the computer during the night time!!!

Daily Log; April 18, 2009 Saturday

AFTER A LOOOONNNGG OVER DUE HIATUS!!!!! VRRROOMM!!!VROOM!! VRROOOM!!!

So dam bored today... No girls or even anybody else for that matter to hang out with. Fucking lonely I need to go outside and restock on chicks. I'm way too scared of approaching right now. I have a huge fucking ego right now. I have been telling myself to get my balls together and go solo. But how can I go solo when I'm too lazy and scared to meet up with my wingman on this beautiful Saturday (when hot chicks are most likely out) because of the idea of approaching, the idea of meeting beautiful women. There are many times when I think that I am not even worth their time... So yesterday night some chick slept over at my place. I think I could have made a move but she is a late bloomer and she told me about the many qualms of moving the interaction to fast towards a physical level. Plus she only thinks of me as a friend but I have this biting feeling that she is slowly getting attracted to me. This could be interesting but at the same time I don't want to get stuck under a one-itis role...

In other news my body is still feeling like shit. I found out recently that my body is asymmetrical and I tilt to the left because of scoliosis. My entire head or neck is shifted to the left while bending towards the right and down. I'm still really self conscious about this problem and the way I look because of this problem. I think this self conscious issue has prevented me from doing other things in my life such as approaching women, attending social functions, holding a room at a public gathering, and pursuing physical hobbies such as yoga... I shouldn't be taking this to seriously though. The only thing I can do right now is just work on the stretches. It literally feels tense, stiff and tight. I'm still waiting for my appointment with neurology that way my physical therapists could tell them about my condition and that may result into a Botox shot or even surgery.

Basically all I really did today was walk that chick back to the subway station so that she can go back home and I came extremely late to my driving class. (I need to stop being late for appointments) but hey I think that I am getting way better at driving. I'm still hoping to get that license so that I can apply to be an EMS and then a fireman. Now I'm just sitting on my ass typing this whole entry on the notes section of my phone.

I need to stop typing right now and get off my ass and do something productive on this lovely day. It’s not like I have a pretty girl sitting on my lap right now. I have to do something about that, or at least fix and clean up my home.