This is a list of reasons why I use to not approach or why i still don't approach. I want to list them so that for present and future reference I will know how my mind tend to over exaggerate and think of the most retarded excuses of not approaching.
1) she is way too hot for me / she is out of my league
2) she is on her phone / ipod / Hand Held / doing something else
3) EVERYONE IS JUDGING ME IF I GO UP AND HIT ON HER!!!
4) I'll wait until her friend goes to the bathroom so I can approach
5) I'll wait until she goes to the bathroom so that I can approach
6) I'll wait until she makes eye contact with me before I can approach
7) I am Asian
8) I have nothing interesting to say
9) I will probably get rejected anyways
10) My ego and confidence will get crushed if this doesn't go well
11) I am already comfortable where I am
12) She is older than me and more mature then me mentally
13) She doesn't look like the type of girl who would go for me
14) She's not my type
15) She probably is waiting for a friend
16) I should not disturb her
17) She's probably going to think I’m like every other stereotypical Asian man
18) I just can't do it!
19) I rather go home and masturbate
20) I masturbated today, so I'm done for the day
21) I look so average
22) I am not charismatic
23) I feel like shit / I'm not in the mood
24) She's of a different race / She probably doesn't date Asians
25) She's with a bunch of her friends
26) They are so high energy I can't approach that
27) Wow she is way to high status for me / I am inferior to her
28) I should just be a good quiet Asian boy and shut up
29) I should not approach cause I know I will find someone once I have a stable career and home
30) I'll start approaching tomorrow
31) I have a small "typical" Asian penis, what would she possibly want from me
32) I don't want her to judge me
33) She is probably busy because she is walking so fast
34) She is not smiling
35) I already masturbated today, so I feel guilty I can’t possibly approach
36) I DO NOT HAVE THE FUCKING BALLS TO APPROACH!!!
37) I’ll start off with a girl who is within my league first
38) I broke the 3 second rule i should not approach
39) I am not in a very friendly mood today
40) Fuck so much anxiety and fear
I still have these thoughts all over my head and it still stops me from approaching a lot of times. But i am getting over everyone of them slowly. The important thing to remember in order to maintain the AA is to GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!! Also to approach the girl you are interested in immediately without hesitation preferably by abiding by the 3 second rule. Also to always be honest with your intentions during the interaction.
These are some of the goals i have decided to set for September. I hope to meet them by the end of September or the beginning of October.
-Approach at least 20 sets
-2 of the sets have to be more than two people / non lone wolves
-2 of those sets have to be doing something (on the phone, on their ipod, taking pictures)
-2 of those sets have to be at my campus and not from my same class
-No masturbation for the whole month
Some might think this list is simple and very easy to complete. But knowing me this will still me a challenging feat because of my sky high AA. I hope but setting small simple tasks at hand my AA will be at a low and i will learn to maintain it without effort. I decided to start simple and not with ending to hard because i know if i do i will end up being to hard on myself and mad at myself for not completing them.
I decided to go out with some friends tonight. This is just what I needed, a night out with relaxation. I've been feeling really down about myself. All the numbers I had last week turned out to be flakes and the pseudo relationship I "kinda sorta" had with one other chick feels like it was going to sizzle out. On top of all that I felt like shit the whole day and I knew my AA was at an all time high. Yup one is the loneliest number. At one point I felt like a chode, I felt like I just wanted to stay in and get comfortable at my home. I was not in a talkative and social mood. I am such an introverted guy. Every time I talk I feel like I’m using up energy instead getting more energy. But I thought to myself, "it’s for the best will, nothing is going to happen if you stay in."
Went to this little tiny delicacy of a venue where they served up these meaty Perogies. This was actually my first time at a Ukrainian restaurant and I got to admit, the food tasted NASTY!! Now when I mean "NASTY" I don't mean it in a cool way. I don't mean it in a "holy shit he just did a 360 Ollie, kick flip off an inverted ramp while dodging a crack head with a skateboard" way. I mean it tasted like they had to add a little extra to the already soggy Perogies so they decided to get brolic USSR chicks to work out so they can sweat, using the sweat as an hidden ingredient kinda way. Ok I am going way of tangent.
So we get to talking throughout the whole time were in the venue. I get in a talkative mood but my AA is still as tough as nails. We decided to hit up Whole Foods, holy shit now whole food is NASTY and this time I mean the cool NASTY. But anyway... I digress so were sitting at whole foods and in plain sight everywhere I turn, I see another beauty walking past. Their long legs, their beautiful hair, their beautiful face, it just captivates me to the point where my brain is farting out excuses of why I couldn't approach. My friend who has been a really supportive person to me and who is like a brother to me keeps pushing me. I was mad at that but I knew it was for the best. I remember having 3 chances where I could have approached easily and just get this shit feeling out of the way but I just couldn't.
So we get out of whole foods, and we’re all just standing around thinking of the next thing to do. During this time, one of my friends comes up with a great idea. He decides to stand outside of whole foods and just say good bye to everyone who passes. I thought this was a rad idea because it was an awesome way to simmer down my AA and pump me into state. So I did that for a while and then I talked a hired gun who was selling comedy tickets. Then we decided to head to the park and just get some approaches down.
1) The first girl I approached was a cute redhead who was sitting down reading a book by Oscar Wilde. I opened with "Hi" and then my mind totally went blank. So I said "I just wanted to say hi because you seemed friendly." This set basically went nowhere. After I approached I started getting nervous so I asked a lot of questions and then I talked about my experience at the restaurant. She told me she went there as well and after a while I didn't know what to say. She told me she had to get back to her reading and I just left.
What I could have done;
-Use the vacuum more
-Use my DHV stories
-tell her how much I love red heads
-guess instead of asking questions
-BT spike her to get her more attracted
-stop answering her questions so straight forward
-go into boot camp opener
2) Two Korean chicks were sitting on the steps and as I went to approach, one of the chicks got up to take a picture. In my mind I was like "Fuck, why do you have to stand up when I’m just about to approach you", I walked back to the lamp post I was chilling at. My friend gave me some encouraging words and just told me to approach by asking if she wanted herself in the picture. I went up and asked her if she would like her picture taken with the friend. She rejected the offer and said no were ok.
What I could have done;
-say "I know you guys are taking pictures but I just wanted to come say hi because you guys are extremely cute" basically just be honest with your intentions
-say "don’t forget to include me in the picture" or an C&F line
went into intermission, I decided to go to Star Bucks so I can use the bathroom. During that time there were at least two sets I could have approached but decided not to. For whatever reason I don't know why. I guess it’s because I felt like shit, feel like it would be a boring conversation, I have nothing interesting to say and the list continues. There was this one girl I could have talked to when she was waiting for her friend to get out of the bathroom, she seemed like she really wanted to talk to me.
What I could have done;
-freaking talk to all of them that's what you could have done Will!!!
-open chick with boot camp opener
3) it wasn't exactly a set, but it’s hilarious. hahahahahah. So I thought a good way to pump up my state was to just say "excuse me but I just wanted to say that you are extremely cute." So I spot this cute little Asian girl walking down to the subway station. I follow her and as I tap her shoulder, she turns around and freaks out. She had that "holy shit I’m going to get raped up the pooper chute" look. I hadn't realized that she had headphones on and she didn't expect me. So I said "I just wanted to tell you that you are extremely cute." She says awkwardly "ok..... Thanks" and just walks away.
What I could have done;
-approach from the side
-could have said "wow don't mean to startle you, but I just wanted to tell you that you are the cutest girl I've seen all day"
4) the next girl was on her phone forever!!! I mean really just forever. So when she got off the phone I was like YES!!! I opened with "excuse me" she kept walking but gradually stopped and turned around. I said "I just want to say that you are extremely hot." we chatted a bit and she was one of the hottest girls I have ever approached. She was from Russia and here with a bunch of her friends. She was also very talkative. She was so high energy and genuinely seemed interested in me. But I felt like shit and was very self conscious of myself. The set gradually died out when i couldn't think of anything to say.
what I could have done;
-use the vacuum
-tell some dhv stories
-close the gap or space between us slowly
-BT spike her to get her more attracted
-stop answering her questions so straight forward
There was this one particular girl just sitting on the side of the rails and she had the "approach me BIG WILLY" look face all over her but I just couldn't do it. I didn't know what the fuck was holding me back.
What I could have done;
-FUCKING APPROACH HER WILL!!!
5) The last girl I walked up to but she was busy on her phone. Again in my mind I said "fuck" and I walked back to my friend. He advised me once again, "What’s the worst that can happen if you interrupt her on the phone?" So I walked up to her and I said my opener, she was like "ohh really" and she pulled her phone back. I then said the most afc thing all night "oh how about we talk when you get off the phone." She said she had a boyfriend, and like a wussy i said "well it was a pleasure meeting you" and left.
What I could have done;
-waited for her to get off her phone
As I walked home this hot Spanish girl that I always pass by at night was walking right by my way. I wanted to say something, anything but yet nothing ended up coming out of my mouth.
What I could have done;
-APPROACH THE FUCKING GIRL WILL!!!
The night was fun. It made me realize I am actually improving my life one second at a time. Even though I did not get any numbers and I didn't have any solid sets going, at least I went out. At least I’m not at home masturbating and drowning in my own self lonely misery. I'll chalk this all up to experience.
Accomplishments:
-tonight I approached more sets then I usually do in one night
-I approached a girl I believe to be really out of my league
-I approached a girl who was busy with a camera
-I approached a girl who was busy on her phone
-I told a random girl that she was extremely cute
-my direct game is getting stronger
-I am able to be honest and just tell girls how i feel about them
What I need to work on:
-try to stay in set as long as possible even though it may get awkward
-keep plowing
-Use the vacuum more
-when there is a perfect chance to approach just go for it
-stop asking that much questions
-be more confident in yourself and stop thinking of what to say next
-stop thinking that you are probably a boring person and she has probably heard everything from every other guy
-approach more sets
-Kino more
-close the space between you and the girl
-try approaching sets instead of lone wolves all the time
-Be completely honest with your intentions
-stop taking all your interactions so seriously
-work on being more cocky and funny
Drumming in my head; Clementine by Pink Martini
"If tomorrow's sun doesn't shine
At least I'll have my Clementine"
hmmmmm.... when will i have my Clementine =?
Since getting in the game i have been making the same mistakes and letting the same limiting beliefs take over me. Here is a list of these problematic flaws that stick out like a unwanted weed in my game. This is also a list of actions i can take to make me better at my social skills. I believe that all of these are stopping me from becoming a Better Asian Man.
1) GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!!!!!! (Credit ManCannon)
2) STOP THINKING AND JUST GO FOR IT!! TAKE SOME RISKS ALREADY!!!
3) Do not hesitate on the approach
4) stop trying to think of the perfect opener and go in.
5) stop touching your face when you talk
6) stop pecking
7) Post up more Field Reports and get more criticism.
8) Say hi to at least 5 different people a day
9) Stand straight but not like a soldier, just remember not to slouch
10) Stop putting so much value on hot girls
11) Approach even when you are busy with something (eating a slice of pizza)
12) Stop being so self-conscious of yourself
13) Be in the moment
14) Use the vacuum more often
15) Use the boomerang tactic
16) Start changing the way I dress
17) Go out to sarge at least 2-3 times a week
18) Speak louder and with confidence
19) commit to every action/decision that you make or take.
20) always be escalating physically
21) Stop thinking of what to say next and just LISTEN
22) approach even if they are on the phone or listening to their ipods etc...
23) Start approaching sets rather than lone wolves
24) get your DHV stories down and tell them with enthusiasm
25) Always be honest and leave the person that you interacted with feeling great
26) Do not catch oneitis
27) Learn to have fun and smile in parties rather than just gaming all the time
28) Warm up before going in
29) be more cocky and funny
30) Try to isolate better and create a better comfort game
31) Approach at least 1 girl or go direct with 1 girl everyday
