I woke up today feeling like a ton of bricks. These past mornings have been getting to me. I've been feeling shittier these past few mornings and afternoons than I ever have in a while. I think there are two reasons for this. 1 I am masturbating again and by doing that I am depleting a lot of my top morning energy and 2 I have been sleeping really late.
So I woke up at 12:45pm and all the way through 5 I start going on my computer looking at youtube videos, watching porn, wikipedia, and a whole lot of other random bullshit. I didn't even take a shower until 4. I should really lay off the computer or at least use only for the important things.
When I headed out I was planning on going to a meetup but I kind of fucked up the schedule and we went to union square again. That's another one of my squabbles I need to fix. I need to get to an appointment at least 15 minutes before hand.
I and my wingman decide to try to do at least two approaches by tonight. My wingman started off by approaching a mixed set with 4 chicks and one chode looking Asian dude. I give him a lot of respect for that because I still do not have the balls to approach an actual set that doesn't only consist of one chick. Most of my conquests are done through approaching lone wolves. My wingman is getting better. He has approached a seated set with 3 chicks and now a 5 mixed set with 4 chicks and 1 dude.
When it came to be my turned I chickened out. There was this cute Indian or indo-Caribbean chick who was walking around by herself for minutes on end but my mind kept going on and on with the excuses. Finally she met back up with her group of friends which consisted of a couple and herself. I believe she was the third wheel. Right then and there my mind came up with a few excuses not to approach her such as "that dude must be her boyfriend", even though we all knew that wasn't true. The dude was holding another chick’s hand. "Look at those pants she's wearing, she must be too old for me". Wow I'm actually considering if I should approach an attractive girl by judging the pants that she is wearing. I am also judging her by her age which is fucking ironic considering how later on as this field report continues I will talk about my instant date with an older Korean chick, older than that Indian chick. There was also one more excuse created by my mind and that was "look at the dude. He looks angry. He might try to fuck me up if I try and holler at his friend." what a load of bullshit. I didn't want to go because I was scared of rejection and I was a fucking pussy.
The next set that I was going to approach was at a Barnes and Noble. It was a seated 3 set of college chicks. I really thought I was going to go in there and break through my barriers. I was so confident at the time that "yes 100%" I was going to approach the Asian chick in the set. I was so filed with anxiety and negative thoughts that I froze up. But what's awesome is that even though I had this negative feeling, somewhere in the back of my head I knew I was going to approach that girl and it was just a matter of time. I was just so sure of it I kept telling my wingman "100%" and "wait hold on I am going to do it." I never did get the chance to do it as they left a few minutes later. This just goes to show that the three second rule must be applied ASAP!
Finally after stumbling around in my own self pity and hatred because I couldn't approach I just choose a mildly attractive Asian girl. She was the only one left there and I just wanted to get at least one approach done by today. So finally I approach the closes girl who I think might be attractive within my vicinity. She turned out to be less attractive then I had thought. She was a Korean chick maybe a HB 6 or 6.5 I notice a lot lately that I have been approaching a lot of average chicks. I think it might be because of an inner self limiting belief. Everything starts to go well and surprisingly I am staying in set longer than usual. But I also feel like I am carrying the conversation piggy back. I try to shut up for a few seconds to see if she reinitiates the conversation, she does this a few times but most of the time I am the one to initiate the conversation again. That is another one of my limiting beliefs that I discovered about myself today; I am very scared of awkward silences.
Minutes pass and I can feel already that I have hit the social hook point. She invites me to a party tomorrow that her friend is throwing. So I number close her right there and then. I knew from that point on that I can get this chick to go out on an instant date with me.
I tell her that we bounce and get something to eat and she complies. As we are walking my mind is going crazy and saying stuff like; "oh my god, just eject yourself right now before she does", "keep her interested, keep talking and don't allow for silence to resurface." As we walked together to find a place to eat I asked her "are you single?" she hesitated for a few seconds and then said no. She said she had a boyfriend. This pissed me off because here I am on an instant date with a girl with a fucking boyfriend meaning I'm not even going to score with this average looking girl. We decide to eat grab some pizza by saint marks place. While there we delved deeper into comfort and I asked her about her experiences in New York. After that we went back to Union Square so she can take the subway back to her home. Along the way I BT spiked her and joked around. Some of the jokes she did not understand because English is not her first language. Finally we got to the subway station, said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. I gave her a nice hug in the end.
Limiting beliefs that I discovered about myself during today’s sarge;
- I can't bring myself to approach tall white girls
- I can't bring myself to approach any mildly attractive American white girl for that matter.
- I can only approach foreigners or FOBS because they are the only ones who would be interested in my personality.
- I can only approach mildly attractive women because that is what I can get and that is currently my "level" or "status" in this game.
- I cannot approach in quieter than normal areas such as the corner spot or reading areas of every bookstore.
- I use to think that day game can get you know where because there is little time to actually create comfort.
- I cannot yet approach sets with more than one person.
- I cannot approach mixed sets.
- I cannot approach seated sets.
- I cannot yet approach Americanized Asian girls because I have a fear that they will get bored of my personality and find out that I am "Fake."
- I cannot approach by myself. I need a wing or some sort of external motivation.
- I cannot have fun when approaching women.
- I have this recurring thought that in the end girls will know that I am a boring person, so there is no point in approaching anyways.
I have this recurring thought that my personality is not going to be enough for attractive girls because they have seen other guys with better personalities. (This especially applies to the American white girl and the Asian American girl.)
Things that I could have done better;
- be more direct and ask her if she would like to go out on a date.
- lay off masturbation
- sleep early, wake up early, fruits in the morning and a few push ups
- lay off the computer unless I really need to use it.
- plan logistically, preferably backwards
- Shut the fuck up!!! Let her carry the conversation from time to time. Let her reinitiate it.
- Work on my comfort game more.
- apply the three second rule
- Approach more attractive girls, mixed sets, seated sets, sets with all chicks, basically sets with more than one person.
- Learn to be happy during your sarge; After all looking and talking to beautiful woman is supposed to be fun!!!
Break through or things I did well;
- had an instant date
- Set lasted longer
- did not eject myself
- talked more
- Was able to hold the conversation
- Was pretty solid in terms of BT spiking
- Was not to down on myself
- I lead the interaction
- Was not scared to ask if she was single
No comments:
Post a Comment