What the fuck? Why do I feel so dizzy?! lol oh wells. I just got up from a nap and now I’m back to exploring the interweb once again. Here's hope that I can resist watching porn. So apparently I have to wait about 2 weeks before I get my next check up and I can surely bet you that I have to wait atleast six hours once I get to Beth Israel in order to get an examination. For those of you who don't know or if it is not obviously enough. I suffer from Cervical Dystonia or Torticollis as it is called by some. It is diagnosed by the tilting of the head to one side (usually to the right) due to freakishly tight muscles that are developed when I was born on the right side of my neck. Although it is a mild form it has actually affected me by bringing pain to me emotionally and physically. I have always been insecure about this and because of it I have never felt normal about myself. I never felt I could fit in because of the disorder. This is the first time I guess I am revealing to the world my deepest insecurity.
Because of Torticollis my face has been a little misaligned. It can be very obvious at certain angles. I had to have surgery for my nose back in 05' I believe because it was misaligned and crooked due to torticollis. Even though the doctor didn't say anything about the involvement or Torticollis, I just know it has something to do with the surgery. Because of the misalignment of my nose I couldn't breathe in right and my nose was always better. I have gotten better since then, although at times I still have a stuffy nose. I believe torticollis has also affected me throughout my whole body. When I decided to fix my crooked neck, I went to a physical therapist. He was the one that told me that I suffer from cervical dystonia or torticollis. He also told me that my sacroiliac joint is misaligned and I have a slight case of scoliosis. This explains all the stiffness I feel within my back, legs, neck, and especially shoulders. There would be many times throughout my life when I attempt something physical, such as dancing or boxing and my shoulder, neck, back and spine freeze out and stiffen up. I honestly think that it has to do with my condition but on the other hand it could be that I have been a lazy ass bastard who doesn't get off his ass. Sits on his computer all day and watches porn and other miscellaneous bullshit. I guess it’s time to get pass that as well.
I have been improving a lot lately these past few years. Even my grandma says my neck is not "crooked" anymore and I don't look as stiff as I use to be. My posture has improved a whole lot more. All of this is from my inner drive. I really wanted to fix this problem in my life so I did a lot of physical activity and stretching, also age occasionally helps with the fixing process. I am bless and proud to have put myself through such major changes throughout these years to fix my medical condition, and this is just another proof to the philosophy that anything can happen if you try your best and believe.
I am close to receiving surgery for this condition. Of course I feel really scared but at the same time I feel relieved, for once in my life I might not be so stiff and sore anymore and I will actually feel like I fit in with the rest of society. I know it kind of sounds wrong cause you have to accept what nature has given you but I just feel happy to be free of the stiffness and happy that people will not likely judge me for my mild condition.
Well until next time folks....
1 comment:
That sounds awesome man, I hope things work out for the best with the surgery. You're going to really kill those ladies out there with the improved confidence and already blossoming game.
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